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I don't really like facebook, or any of the social sites. They ultimately fail because there is no central/standard that connects them all.

I do like the concept though. There's some good stuff in facebook, and it doesn't really get used much. For example I set my blog up on facebook so it's imported. It doesn't matter if I go in, but the people I know there will see my blog posted even if they aren't subscribing or coming directly. In that way it acts like an aggregator for people that don't necessarily get RSS.

Similar to the old LJ friends list, you get an aggregation of everyone you want to keep tabs on. That's a great concept, but there's a lot of ways to do that.

But again, they all fail because the whole premise is "connect to everyone here." Since there are competitors, it just doesn't work. Virb is cool, clean and easy but I don't think it will ever grow because myspace has such a stranglehold. Facebook has a bit more of a running start because it started out very targeted and did well there.

1. It's based on real names, so it's nice to know who you're dealing with and who they really are. Because of that, I keep my friends list to my actual friends.

2. It's a great way to stalk friends. ;) hehehe

You're not old, Tyme. (I'm the one who's old!) I first joined Facebook when they opened it up to the public so I could see wht the big deal was...and promptly became bored with it. A few months later, I checked back in and found that about a dozen of my friends had joined--and this improved my experience considerably. I now have 141 friends on there (some more friend-ish than others) and it's tough for me to log off.

Peroty notes one major advantage: the vast majority of people on Facebook use their real names so that it's easier for friends, colleagues and family to find them. There is a huge incentive to do this, as the site is only as good as the number of contacts you have on it.

Beyond that: Status updates can be used as kind of a Twitter equivalent, advising your contacts of what's up at your end. Poking can either be flirtation, or a general 'thinking of you' kind of gesture. Some of the applications are lame or dull (or mini-infomercials--ugh) but a few are real gems. I'm hopelessly addicted to Scrabulous, for example. There are groups you can join--though I have to admit that I've had very little interaction with the ones I belong to; I'm just in there to provide support in numbers.

There's the wall, which is a way to turn messaging between friends or among a group into a kind of public discourse; you also have wall-to-wall which makes it convenient to have a public conversation with a friend by filtering out everyone except the two of you.

Plus there's conventional e-mail type messaging, a fairly detailed profile questionnaire, the ability to join networks based on your workplace, school or location, the ability--as Ozone mentioned--to have your blog updates appear as part of your feed to all your contacts, the ability to post (privately or publicly) links, photos, videos and other items, plus a few other features I can't even remember right now.

It does have a young user base but that is changing as more people gravitate to it. If you're not into social sites then you probably won't enjoy it. But I definitely feel that the experience changes as more of your contacts appear there and interact with you.

C'est tout,

David D.

@daviddemchuk:

I now have 141 friends on there (some more friend-ish than others) and it's tough for me to log off.

What do you do on there? Is it just browsing their profiles or are you sending messages? That has always been my problem I think. Once I get there, it's like: now what? If none of my friends updated anything and I'm not interested in finding anyone (which I have horrible luck at) there is nothing to do. Games I didn't think of...I can see where that can be addicting.

@peroty: I can see the real names thing being a plus for identity but don't most people have their profiles viewable by friends only? So you're already familiar, right?

@Ozone42:

But again, they all fail because the whole premise is "connect to everyone here." Since there are competitors, it just doesn't work. Virb is cool, clean and easy but I don't think it will ever grow because myspace has such a stranglehold. Facebook has a bit more of a running start because it started out very targeted and did well there.

Exactly and that's why I get lost on why people don't use their blogs to be "the" spot to find information? Using these networks to pull people to you I understand completely but having a 3rd party site be "the" place to find updated information when I have a site makes no sense to me. If Facebook changed, died, etc. then what? Start all over elsewhere?

I think a big part of it is a lot of people can't handle a website, but given a system to just plug in info, they'll do it.

That's why livejournal worked.

When I was in Italy I used Facebook to get my friends' addresses so that I could send them postcards. That was nice.

I don't spend more than 5-10 minutes a day on Facebook. Just like I don't spend all that much time checking out my calendar or looking at my watch. Facebook is a tool for me, not a hang out.

Now watch, I won't be able to get any jobs with Facebook app developing companies because of my comments ;)

I keep in touch, so to speak, with lots of friends who live in other states, countries, etc. To be perfectly honest, there's no way I'd know anything about their lives if it weren't for Facebook. With just one click, I can see where they're living, what job they have, if they're married, etc. I can also check out photos of where they've been lately, who they're dating, and who they still hang out with from way back when. All those things, in one easy spot, keeps us interacting. In addition, having them just a click away is a lot easier than trying to find their phone # or AIM screenname: I can just log on, write on their wall, and have it be done with. That's why I like Facebook.

People consider the upkeep of a blog overwhelming sometimes. They don't know how to just start off writing about something, I think. They need inspiration provided by others to feed off of ... even if it means getting bit by zombies and vampires, or throwing sheep and fish at others. *sheepish*

(Like Ozone said) The kinds of applications where you don't have to say exactly what you're thinking still facilitates the sort of interaction people are looking for. Whatever you can assign a "status" to, Facebook's got a way to express it. Or say, I'm thinking about this person or that person, but I don't have words for it because I don't know them that well ... or maybe I'm just bored ... so I'll "spit game at" them. Or, uh, quite frankly people just want an excuse to stalk another person?

I don't spend a lot of time on facebook. I log on, glance at the obnoxious activity "feed," and then log back off. I personally can't offer how people spend hours upon hours on it ... and I'm one of those who ignore requests to add applications 49 times out of 50.

The most involved I get is by entering my RSS feeds into facebook. And that's *my* feed.

So maybe I didn't even answer your question. Huh. ;)

God, I hope this is not a sign I'm old... :)

Is is. ;-)

... but do not feel bad. I'm old too, and in the same boat. I just do not get Facebook's appeal in that sense.

Honestly, I don't "get" any of it. So I'm old, so what? ;) I didn't get MySpace, don't get FaceBook or any of the rest of it. If I want to keep in touch with friends, I call. My best friend and I yakked on the phone for two and a half hours last week, and we could have chatted even longer and not run out of things to say but I had to go make food for the ravenous hordes. I don't need to check her out on facebook or where ever (if she was on, which she's not) to see what she's up to every other day. Why? Checking in once a month or so by phone, or email if the phone chat isn't possible, is enough. Then again, I'm mostly anti-social anyway, so that may be why I don't get any of it. ;)

@Tyme

Most people have at least their presence visible. As in that they're on Facebook so I can find them that way. But as has been said by others. I don't spend much time there. I use it more as a way to keep tabs on friends I don't see often.

I think I missed the boat. My brother is in college right now though and Facebook is his lifeblood! I think it's different to actually be in college.

I'm 23, I'm in college, and I still don't get Facebook. I've found friends; I've added them; and.. okay, now what? If I want to talk to them, I meet them on campus or send them an email.

So, Tyme, if you're "old," then so am I.

It seems that facebook was connecting with some people because they thought it was going to become more interesting - even allow for people to develop some sort of depth of contact and relations through a host of new intelligent apps written for it.

That hope seems to be collapsing as the business model becomes clear.

i'm with Josh, i have a bunch of friends, but all they post is not really productive, and if i would want to talk to them, would i open a browser, try to login in on facebook, find them, post to them OR open Mail and send it?

this whole "Social Thing" is pretty relative, because on MySpace you have to be accepted as a friend before you can even think about saying something to him/her.

i like the "old" fashioned ways of e-communicating, a good old email, a chat on MSNMessenger/GTalk, none of that new social stuff.

Haven't been there in ages. People can find me there, and if I reciprocate any friend request, they can get in touch. I ignore everything else and never post or update. That's it.

Estarla said it:

People consider the upkeep of a blog overwhelming sometimes.

Facebook is for non-bloggers.

Pussies.

Facebook has privacy, which means it's not public information that you can get there... my friends on Facebook have access to my cellphone number, my e-mail address, my work info, hobbies, interests, personal photos I'll never post on Flickr, etc.

Facebook has way more "to do" now than MySpace with all the applications. If you don't use Facebook applications, you are missing out.

I think you guys are being too kind. Facebook represents a part of our culture that is nosy. A rat race. We always want to know what our friends/enemies are up too and then laugh at them in private...too hash?

We put cool pictures of ourselves up to promote ourselves. Ask any college student and they'll tell you this. The point of facebook isn't to be online and be cool but rather to brag about your offline life.

I think that people make the mistake of thinking that Facebook is a tool for making new friends. Facebook simply enhances what you already have.

I like Facebook. My use for it has changed since I graduated from college but as with anything Facebook is useful if you choose for it to be.
Two big things that make it invaluable to me:

Tools for students
When I was in college Facebook (or "the Facebook" as it was then) had not yet opened to the public. I entered in all my class sections and could click on the courses I was taking and see a list of my classmates. More than once if I missed class or didn't get some notes, what did I do? Shoot somebody from that class list a Facebook message. A lot of the clubs I was in in college had Facebook groups they used as a way to communicate with members.

Relationship upkeep
I wouldn't know anything about my high school crew if not for Facebook. Everyone's spread out all over the world now and things like the Activity Feed help us to keep up with each other. Beyond looking up names and snooping through profiles we've actually used Facebook to schedule meetup events for when folks have come into town. It's easier than sending out mass e-mails that usually don't get read and calling 30 people on the phone. I also wouldn't know anybody's birthdays if not for Facebook.

If you set your privacy settings correctly, as most of the people I know do, nobody can find out things about you that you don't want them to know. It can be a valuable portal for your connections online and offline.

I ended up writing about Facebook because it was bugging me. It was like it was the root of a bigger problem for me.

Facebook allows you to customize whether friends see things or not but there isn't a measurement of friendships that I see. You're either a friend or you aren't. In my case I have a lot of acquaintances (for example 9rules people, readers, etc.) but few "friends". That's important to note.

An example, my best friend Yolanda works in marketing, media, etc. Her acquaintances are some serious richy rich people. Some of the parties she goes to are ones where people fly in for the night, with their plane, to attend. That kind of richy rich (they aren't better than anyone else, they have money and are established in their careers). If she puts them on her profile (if they have one) she has to be very cautious who she friends because you know what happens - people try to make friends with your friends, who might not actually be friends just acquaintances (and you know the dilemma of rejecting someone). Which means I have to be cautious who I add as friends. Meaning my profile and hers and our close friends have blank profiles. We don't link to each other and rarely use those services.

Which people think is weird because they don't have the same issue.

The people I care about from high school we keep in touch. The others - hope they're doing well but I have zero interest in what they are doing, etc. They aren't apart of my life. If they were, we wouldn't need a 3rd party site to keep in touch (IMO). I mean seriously, how do you think people did it before these sites were around?

That's the difference. Meanwhile Facebook is getting rich off of you guys because you opened your worlds up to them, creating huge privacy concerns, and you aren't getting a piece of the pie. Even the media implies that the average Facebook user is so naive (or blind) they don't realize the implications of what they are doing.

The key for me was realizing why those systems don't work for me personally. Online sure and it is a great tool for me meeting new people. It doesn't work for me to keep in touch with my friends - since we are already in touch (with the people we care about).

And my blog(s) will always be the #1 place to find out about me. I will never relinquish that control to another site. But good luck to those that are. :) *hugs

I think what bugs people like you, Tyme, about Facebook is that there's nothing that revolutionary about Facebook. In fact one could argue that Mark there just got lucky and gained all the users. And that wouldn't be far off.

As for how we use Facebook. I think the simplest argument is the best. The people who are your friends are either frequent users of facebook or they are not.