Chawlk

1. Drawar
2. Fenxy
3. Decaflon
4. Two Credits
5. Wriging
6. Loose Suits
7. Chixe
8. Dud3s
9. Wing Colors

 

Ok, that doesn't work apparently, so just leave your e-mail or message me with it and I'll send you an invite.

I'm making a league. Who wants in? http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/urawesomes League ID# 560868 and password is awesome

don't forget the ipod. she needs the ipod too.

I'll give you my story because it's a bit similar. And on the off-chance that my friends reads this, please pretend you didn't. :) kthanx.

I've been friends with this girl for half my life, literally. I was infatuated with her for the first few years. I wrote my first love letter to her (I was young and trying to be romantic) and I even wrote her a love poem. Yes, I gag now but at the time, I thought I was being suave or whatever. You know, like Rico minus the "ay" at the end.

We lost touch after high school. She had started dating this guy, we both got busy with college and life. Three years later we reconnected and picked up pretty much exactly where we left off before. She's still dating the same guy though, very much in love with him. She doesn't deny that there's something between us, but again, she's with another guy. I'm not saying I'm in love with her, but I've been in a constant state of falling for her and I haven't quite reached that point yet.

A couple years ago, we talked about our relationship. She's happy with her boyfriend, I'm happy that she's happy, however, it really sucks because I want to be with her but I can't. I've obviously dated other girls, but the truth is, if she were to ever say "Hey, let's date," I would probably throw everything else out the window.

The truth is though, that I wouldn't change anything about our relationship. We're great friends and when we get the time to talk to each other, we flirt yes, but nothing has really changed.

My advice to you, tell her how you feel. I wouldn't chase after her, or pursue her, just tell her how you feel. That's really all you can do. Anything more than that is a bit overboard at this point and might ruin the friendship that you have.

peroty: if you do that, i will gladly join. i limit myself to three leagues per season and i'm currently looking for numero tres.

jensized: I too am antsy. I was antsy when I first posted the note. Ha. I'm hoping we start soon...

Also, college fantasy football is insane. Really insane.

I've used pretty much every fantasy site known to man and I would say that both ESPN and Yahoo are at the top of my list. Both have pros and cons though and I wouldn't mind using either one. Yahoo's live draft is a bit better though.

I'll be watching the BMX this year and I usually just watch track and field and swimming.

I think this year will be exciting. I'll actually have access to a computer all the time, where as last season, I was only able to get on the computer once every couple of weeks. Oh, and also, I'll actually be there for the draft and the computer won't have to pick my players for me.

Also, I have plenty of time at work to research and all that. Yay for having a piece of cake job.

This is my most viewed:

^^My sisters: Andrea, Steph, Nicole, then me. This was taken awhile ago actually.

The other most viewed are of my ex and myself...

If this is true, I am definitely getting one. I would then have no life because all I would do would be work, play Xbox 360, and make out with girls. That last one isn't true, but let's pretend it is.

I'm not really sure if I'm excited for Spore though. But if the xbox will be $199, hell, I'll pick it up just because I saved a shitload of money.

So, preseason has started, finally. Prepared to get your butts kicked?

I was super excited to see it and I wasn't disappointed. The movie was really awesome. I'm so happy they put Maggie in as the new Rachel. I don't think I would have enjoyed it so much if Kate Holmes had been in the role again.

I see California's population doubling if this passes.

I'd move there if it passes. No, I'm not a pothead. I've long been a supporter of legalizing marijuana. I think that while a lot of people, mostly kids, start smoking marijuana because it's thought of as "rebelling", most people I know that smoke up are people who do it because they like it and have been doing it for a long time.

If done right, California can make a lot of money off of this while decreasing crime etc.

If the federal government were smart, they would legalize it and not only would they be making that much more money, they'd also be saving that huge amount of money they use on the war on drugs, as someone mentioned above.

Marijuana isn't so much "cool" anymore. It's more of the norm now. If you smoke weed, it's not a huge deal. I remember when I was in high school, if you smoked pot you were labeled and people looked at you differently. Now it's not such a big deal.

I can't go back and change things so instead of just sitting here thinking about all the things I could have done differently, I just try to work on the relationships that I do have. I'm not sure about how my friends feel towards me now, but just for me I think I've become a bajillion times closer to them.

As for the girl I'm dating...well that's a more confusing situation. I'm still deeply in love with my ex, and while I can go a whole day without thinking of her now, she's still the first person I think about when something important happens. It's obvious I'm not ready for a relationship, and I'm doing my best not to turn this girl into the "rebound". She's a truly amazing person, way out of my league really. But I've done something with her that I wasn't able to do with any of the previous girls I've dated: let her in.

It's funny how the biggest reason I wanted to start dating again was because of sex but that's the last thing I think about when I'm with her. Instead, we spend a lot of time just hanging out, talking, getting to know each other. I've told her a lot of things I've never been willing to tell anyone else. Mostly, I think this new found openness comes from the uncertainty of the health issues I'm facing, but I also think that it's because I've gained a lot of confidence lately. I'm more comfortable with who I am. Also, after making the same mistake over and over again in relationships, I've finally figured out that if I truly want to be happy in a relationship, I need to not be so afraid. If I don't let a girl in the relationship most certainly won't work. If I do let her in, it can go either way, but at least the reason that it didn't work out won't be because of my lack of openness.

I am a robot.

Some people might think that because I was born a girl I have a firmer grasp on my emotions. That's not true, not by far. I've written about this very thing on my blog not too long ago. I wouldn't say that I was pressured by our culture or society to bottle up my emotions. I would say, however, that while growing up, I was surrounded by people who didn't know how to deal with emotions and so I learned to ignore them.

I would also say that because I never learned how to deal with complicated emotions, when I was faced with a hurtful situation, instead of learning from it, I pushed it further away. Anything other than "nothing" is a complicated emotion to me.

This has impacted my relationships with the people I've dated, my friends, and my family.

For a really long time I was convinced that if people didn't know the real me and I never let anyone "in", then I wouldn't get hurt and I could just live my life feeling "nothing".

Over the course of the past three months, I've learned otherwise and I've made attempts, slowly, to become more open about my issues and feelings. Being vulnerable, or even human, isn't such a bad thing. You'd be surprised how fulfilling and exciting life can be when you feel at your most vulnerable. At least for me it is, since I lived my life as a robot.

Yeah, I was a bit surprised by this. I knew that black coffee, in small amounts, was good for you. At least that is what I heard. Now I don't feel so guilty drinking coffee, although, I have to watch my heart rate so I try not to drink that much in one day.

Tyme: I haven't talked with my parents about this in a few years. My dad has made hints, and some jokes, about it recently that makes me think that he's changed his mind. However, I don't want to assume that he's ok with it. He might not be. I haven't brought it up with them recently, hoping that when they were ready they would come to me and talk about it.

However, I've had some conversations with my sister, Stephanie, about this and from the way she talks, my parents aren't in the same position they were when I first told them. However, just because they might be starting to accept it, doesn't mean they would be ok if other members of my family were to find out, such as my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. When I first told my parents, they were more concerned about what other people would think than anything else.

For the past few months, I've been struggling with whether or not to talk to my parents about this again. I'm in a position, financially, where I would be able to live without their financial support. The biggest issue was health insurance, but I have that through my job now.

I look at it this way. I've lived for almost five years as my parents wanted me to. This is going to sound really confusing...but my parents like to think of me as a lesbian. If that makes them happy, then fine. It just doesn't make me happy. I feel like I'm living the biggest lie ever.

At this point in my life, with everything that has been going on, I just don't feel like I can really continue to grow, or be happy, living as someone else. I need to live my life for me now, as the person I am. They've had plenty of time to stew over this. I've had plenty of time to realize that I can't keep doing this. Eventually, all the progress I've made, will start to reverse itself. In some ways, it already has.

I found that in general, people respect those who take a stand. They might not like the stand, and they'll fight hard against it, but in the end, if it was a true stand and not an effort to get them to fall for getting your way, they'll respect the courage of the conviction.

I think, after all is said and done, after the debris has cleared, then yes, some people will be able to respect the choice that I made. But when you're in the moment, it is something currently happening, then it is completely different.

People's first reaction is often an emotional response. It's only after the dust has settled that we can truly appreciate the logical motivations behind a situation.

Can you live, being ostracised by your family, by people around you, perhaps even risk being singled out, even harmed, in the pursuit of being true to yourself? Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone into a world with unknown consequences? Have you got all the i's dotted and the t's crossed to handle such a transition? What if your family and not you pays for the consequences of your actions?

Can I live without my family? I don't know. I've certainly not been close to them, but no matter what, if I needed them they were there. I always knew in the back of my mind that I had that safety net available to me if I ever needed it. In this case, I know I won't have it. Is it scary? Yes, it is. I've never really been alone on anything before. Will I be able to handle it? I sure hope so. I hope that I am stronger than I think I am.

If I were put in a position of being threatened or physically harmed, I would be able to take it with pride. If my family were threatened or harmed, I'm not sure what I would do. It is a possibility in this area, but I don't really think people would take it that far.

Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone into a world with unknown consequences?

Everyday I live as anyone but Josh, is a day that I live outside my comfort zone. The only time I ever feel comfortable or happy is when I'm able to be myself. Which I think is the primary motivating factor for me to do this. I've made a lot of progress the past few months, now I'm at an impasse because I can't continue to grow unless I can really be myself. It's a question of do what's right for me or do what my family (parents) want me to do for them.

Right this moment it is Obsessed With You by The Orion Experience. It'll change next week though.

@Scrivs: It's definitely up there. Everytime I go to the store, it's always gone. So it's pretty popular.

I have a few...

- Frosted Flakes
- Wheaties
- Cracklin Oat Bran
- Cocoa Puffs

I don't eat much cereal these days though. I did have Wheaties last week however. If I had more time to shop, I would eat nothing but cereal.

Yea, I had a couple of really good weeks. Which was shocking. I had a couple great players, and mediocre players. Not a well rounded team.

And I started off slow, but then came back to dominate. Was fun allowing you people to get a leg up on me for a bit. Made the challenge that much sweeter.

That's why you came in third? :)

I will download it if I can get the page to load. It keeps timing out on me. I'm curious to see if the pledges and actual downloads are close to each other. I don't think they will be because everyone seems to be trying to download at the same time, which is why it keeps timing out and not loading.

I seem to be my only competition.

That's what you said last year.

I'm ready jen. I'm preparing for it. :)