Alright, so now I'm in need of validation that I'm not plain stupid here. I recently lost a long time friend due to... Well, I'm not sure. But it involves me not going to her wedding.
Here's the story:
So I'm supposed to go to this girl's wedding. We've known each other for over a decade. She mails me the invitation 5 weeks before. It's one of these where the information about the families is on the card and inside there's a ticket with the location and RSVP info. I set it up, rsvp, ready to go.
Day before the wedding day. I get try to get the address. I found the wedding invitation, but the card with the address? It's gone. In fact, I didn't even remember it was there. I try to call the bride (I know, rude on the day before the wedding, but it was that or don't go). Eventually I get a short message back. "It's at Higgins Hall."
"Higgins Hall?" I wonder. "Where's that? What's the address?" I try to call back, text her a few times, frantic. The wedding is in the morning! I'm also coming down with a fever, but... well, I don't want to miss THIS! It's her wedding!
So I look on Google Maps, find 2 Higgins Halls, both about an hour away from each other. It's now 11pm and the wedding is at 9am, a 4hr drive away. By this time, I'm feeling really sick, so I choose instead to sleep, get up at 4am, and drive out. Even if I'm a little late, I'll be there.
Slept through my alarm, woke up the next day at 1pm. CRAP! I try to call to apologize. Obviously she doesn't answer. I try to call the next day, and leave a message explaining that I was sick and that I'd like to get together after the honeymoon to give her the gift.
A month later, still no reply, so I try calling back. Nothing. I also try emailing. Not a reply. Over the next few months, I try to contact her again, and nothing. Zilch. For a long time, I just thought she was busy. (Her husband owns a restaurant and she sells real estate.) It happens, I know, but I could at least get back a "hey, I'm busy, sorry." But... nothing.
Eventually, I send an email asking "What's going on? Are you mad or something?" I seriously didn't know what was going on. Six months had already lapsed.
Her answer goes something like this: "Yes, and you already know why. You RSVP but miss it. Then you don't even send a card. By the way, It's rude to call a bride the day before her wedding. You're not the person I knew. You're inconsiderate. That's why I cut off all communication. I never want to hear from you again.
To say I was angry is an understatement. After calming down, I wrote an email explaining EVERYTHING, that I tried to call -- MULTIPLE times, over a long span of time -- email -- again, multiple times -- telling her that I wanted to give her the present in person, that I couldn't find her parents address to mail it.
Nothing. All she wonders is why I didn't send a card explaining (apparently, multiple calls weren't enough). She didn't care about a gift. She just wanted a card from me. Friendship's off.
I write again, explaining the matter in full, again. I want to keep this friendship alive. I didn't think it was fair of her to give me the silent treatment and expect that I would know what's going on. And I certainly expected her to listen to her damn phone messages. But nothing. She just stopped talking.
So tell me, was sending a card so imperative that it necessitated the silent treatment? Am I crazy because I think that she should have, at least once, explained what the hell was going on? Heck, I didn't even know she was mad until recently -- SIX MONTHS AFTER THE FACT. Is it that I'm that inconsiderate, or is she being overtly judgmental and juvenile?
So anyway, the friendship's over. As she put it "it's time to cut our losses and move on." I don't want it to be, but if she's going to be this fickle, the do I even want to stay friends with her? I don't know, is it because it happened during the wedding, is this a Bridezilla occasion?
Been feeling like crap for the last couple of days and I need to know whether what I did, by not mailing her a card, and instead trying to call, was so horrendously wrong, or whether she's just overreacting, by most standards?
» Anybody Seen Dr Horrible's Sing-along Blog? ... Last Reply: 4 months ago by Gnorb.
At the behest of Kamigoroshi, my wife and I watched it last night. It was awesome, and had us laughing a good part of the time. And the songs were actually catchy enough to make me want to sing them.
(Just as a sidenote, if you've watched this and enjoyed it, you'll likely be very interested in the book Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman.)