Fenxy

I thought i should share some jokes that i read the other day.

1. SORRY!

The local United way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most succesful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of the contributions called him to persuade hi to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um... No."

"Second, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheel chair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was cut off.

"Third, that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "... And I don't give any money to them, so why should i give any to you?"

=D

2. Life Sentence!

The wife found her husband sitting on the back of the porch crying. "Whats wrong?" she asked.

"Do you remember when we were dating and your father told me that if i didn't marry you, he would send me to prison for 20 years?"he said.

"yes," she responded, "so what?"

"I would have gotten out of prison today!" he sobbed.

3. To heaven

A student goes to the gates of heaven where he meets St. Peter. St. Peter says to him, "God has looked at your book of life and you are welcome in heaven under one condition."

The student asks, "What's that?"

St. Peter says, "you must spell the word 'Love'."

So he does and he is let in to heaven. As he gets in, St. Peter's beeper goes off. He tells the man to watch the gate until he returns, and reminds him that he must ask whoever comes to spell the word. Next thing you know, his teacher show up at the gate and he asks her what she is doing there?

She sayd that on the way home from the funeral, there was an accident and she died.

The student says alright, but you do have to spell one word first before you come in to heaven.

She asks, "What's that?"

He says, "Spell ethylenediaminetetraacetic."

4. two nuns

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip of their habits, and paint in the nude.

In the middle of the project, there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" called one of the nuns.

"Blind man," a voice replies from the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room; they open the door.

"Where do you want these blinds?" asks the man.

=D i've some more. but i gotta find it first so thats all.. =)