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74% of Americans believe that if Saddam had ever met a gay man named Gomorrah, they would have gotten it on.

73% of successful suicide bombers are actually failed homicide bombers who didn't run as fast as they thought they could.

68% of Americans refuse to eat baby carrots because they feel too bad for the vegetables that barely had time to live.

If a Nigerian king ever needs help laundering money from random Internet users, he'll have a terrible time proving he's for real.

Haha where are you getting these?

It's a widget I have in Netvibes, called 'The Hella True Fact of The Day'.

Here's one Mike would like:

Margins kill five million trees a year.

9 out of 10 women with breast implants can't even take themselves seriously.

Chief Wiggum

They all come out at night. Or in this case, the day

And from The IT Crowd...

Roy: 'If you were a mass murderer what would you call yourself?'
Moss: 'I'd call myself The Gardener..and I'd leave a rose at the scene of every crime...'
Roy: 'And what would your murder weapon be?'
Moss: 'A Hammer...'

I do like children. But I couldn't eat a whole one.

"The children cookies you sold me taste nothing like children!" Witch to storekeeper.

Spoken to me, by someone who was probably not sober either:

Your inhibitions are getting drunker.

Same person, another time:

Christy: Stop talking and answer me!
(five minutes pass)
Christy: I can’t hear him because he’s making too much noise!

I have hundreds of these on my site, though some you really had to be there for.

Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd put arsenic in your coffee."

Sir Winston Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!"

______________________________

Whilst skidding backwards down a snow covered Swiss mountain my son averted his gaze from the in car DVD, pulled out his earphone and said "Dad, can I have a sweet?"

He's good like that.

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